Skipping Stones and Hurling Abuse on the Harvey Trip

What do You Do With Three Small Boys?  

A Whole Lot as it Turns Out.

     

     In the continuing adventure of the Harvey trip, we were in constant motion.  Not only moving from place to place, but each day was filled with constant physical activities and fun.  You have to burn off some energy or these guys will never sleep.  

One day we went down to the ocean to explore and found a pond on the way.  It was surrounded by rocks.  Anyone with small boys will know that rocks are meant to throw in water – any rocks, any water, any time.

     This was no exception, and the boys instantly set about throwing rocks in the pond. One thing led to another and soon they were trying to skip rocks. This can be a challenge for those without practice. You need the right kind of rock (smooth, flat, and round) and the right kind of water (calm and wave free). 

     You also need a fair amount of technique, you can’t just fling the rock, and you have to spin it with a flat trajectory. You have to give the rock a chance to “bounce” or skip across the surface of the water.

These young lads did not have the proper method and managed to commence making every kind of throw without much success.  For example, a rock entering the water perpendicular at a ninety degree angle has zero chance of skipping.  It generally makes a big splash. 

Soon however, they were claiming success, even though they had not achieved any.  A typical conversation:

Jackson: "Look Papa! I skipped a rock!"

Me: "What?  No you didn’t!  That thing made a big splash and sunk!"

Jackson:  "Yeah … I know."   

     Hey, I’m not trying to be the bad guy. I'm willing to bend the rules and give a little leeway but it wasn't even close. But eventually he did manage to get a skip or two fairly consistently over the course of the trip. 

Bomb The Battleship!  Bombs Away!

Actually what happened next was that skipping rocks morphed into “Bomb the Battleship”.  This is  where you throw a log or floating piece of wood into the water and then bomb the thing with every imaginable kind of rock you can find, even if the rock weighs more than you do.   I’ll grab some credit here, this was a game I invented a while back … well, at least I invented the name …. and the trash talking.

Anyway, part of the fun is not only hurling rocks at the “battleship” but also hurling abuse.  Such things as “come back here you coward!” if the logs starts to float away.  

Also, you can taunt the piece of wood or log with things like “you’re a pathetic loser!” and hammer the thing with tons of rocks.  The boys became quite prolific at trash talking the “battleship” log.  They were getting rather offensive (by little boy standards) with taunts like “you idiotic piece of garbage!” or “you’re a stupid failure!”  or “you’re a pitiful excuse for a battleship!” or “you deserve to die!”  Dude!  That’s a bit rough!

I must confess I led the charge with a stream of abuse that the log certainly didn’t deserve, but man, it’s so fun.  (One of my better ones “you’re a disgrace to mankind!” – but hey, it’s just a chunk of wood!) The boys were using words that I’m sure their parents would not approve of, but their parents weren’t around! HA, HA, HA!   Sam got in a good one – “you’re a dumb pile of bathroom toilet!”

Anyway, throwing rocks in the water, either skipping or bombing, can provide almost endless fun.  In fact, it can literally be endless, to the point where you can’t get them to stop.  They started crying and calling me inappropriate names … Ooops!  Who started all this anyway?  Me?

Kids say the darnedest things! 

Come to think of it, the things they say are like instant classics.  For instance, there was a loft bed up above the driver seat in the Harvey (remember Harvey = RV) and the boys would take turns sleeping up there.  The other guys would climb up usually in the morning after they woke up.  They shared pretty good most of the time.  Everybody could join in.

However, one day Yoppie wouldn’t let Jackson up to the “loft”. 

I said something like, “hey, you guys have been sharing all week and letting each other up there, and now you’re gonna get selective?”  And Yoppie busts out, “well, somebody’s gotta be selective!”  Bwa Ha Ha Ha!

Another quote:  We are trying to drive the Harvey into a particularly difficult campsite and Jackson observes:  “Man, this is gonna be pretty stressful!”  (As if the whole trip hasn’t been?)

Or try this one.  Sam knocks over a whole big glass of chocolate milk on himself while sitting in a restaurant (he’s kind of accident prone) and it’s a real mess.  It gets all over his pants, shirt, and shoes.  We eventually get it cleaned up and manage to finish the meal.  When we get back in the Harvey to leave, Sam shares this thought with us:  “You know, when I spilled that chocolate milk on myself … it was kind of refreshing …!”  

Here’s another one by Sam – as we enter California on our way to the Redwoods, Sam says “Hurray!  We’re in California!  Now we get to see Nana and Grandad! Whoo Hoo!”

And Jackson turns to him: “Sam, they live in Georgia …”

Sam:  “oh …  yeah …”

It was a lot of fun with these little guys.  Jackson is the senior member at age nine, Yoppie just turned six and Sam is five.  

More to come soon.